Time Travel

I feel it is my duty to inform only a select few (Actually, people who manage to come by this blog by accident) about my recent discovery.

I'll start by telling you something about who I am. My name is Stephen, that should do it. Now, about how I discovered Time Travel, or, to be politically correct, Time Displacement Intervention, I think??

Anyway, back to the story. Out by where I live, I like to go into the woods. While I am out there, I tend to chase small woodland creatures. Now, I know what you are thinking, "Does a 29 yr. old, extremly attractive guy, have the stamina to do this?" The answer is NO. I know this because I have yet to catch one. Anyway, one day while I was chasing a chipmunk (A Chipmunk is part of the "Munk" family) I all of a sudden came across the " Tree of Enchantment". Actually, I ran into it, smacking my head on the "Divine Branch of Knowledge". What happened next was so incredibally shocking, I will forever remember.

I started to see colors and shapes of the Time Vorttex. I started traveling among the stars, I know this because they flashed before my eyes. Next thing I know, I find myself on the ground with an amazing headache (That happends when you travel through time) and I noticed the sun was almost about to set. As I looked at my watch, I discovered in complete amazment that it was 5 hours and 26 min. later. I had traveled into the future!!!!

So to let you know, I am now a time travler, visiting from the past, to explore this new world. I am amazed by how advanced everything is!

At the moment, I have been working on a way to get back to my own time. I tried to repeat what I did out in the woods that fateful afternoon, (There seem to be less chipmunks here in the future) but I discovered that it will send me 3 hours more into the future. I will not atempt that again because my goal is to travel back in time, not forward.

I will update people on my progress.

Damned, B-Day

I am not going to post anything very interesting at all today. It is my last day to be 28 and it SUCK's!!! Not in good mood. Have a beer and remember me. Tommorrow, I will be 29.

Museum of Hoaxes

Really, I can't stress enough on how much you will like this site. Every day I check it out and you should too. Alex, the guy that runs the site, is a foremost expert on hoaxes, he has allready published books, and another one on the way. VERY, VERY entertaining. The site is at http://www.museumofhoaxes.com If it wasn't for this site, I would have nothing to talk about with people in my social life, really. I'm that big of a looser, but this site isn't. Just go check it out, for the LOVE OF GOD, do this. Why are you still here reading this, he doesn't pay me to do this, I don't give out handouts, and I don't feed the poor. Leave, and never soil my towels again.

Help Us Bury Those That Can't Bury Themselves

Every day,animals get hit buy cars, meet small children, or get stuck in traps. These animals usually die. Take "Smitty" the field mouse for instance. Chased down by a guy working in the warehouse with nothing better to do then STOMP on Smitty's little head in the parking lot. His crime??? Just trying to get to the other side. The last thought going through the bleeding, crushed little furry head of his is "Why?" and "Who will bury me??". This is when we need your help. Every dime sent in will go to me and I will either place Smitty or another helpless dead animal I come across in a shoe box, or, with enough money, a nice animal casket.I will then place it in the Earth.



Please do your part so I will bury Smitty before he completly decomposes, please?
You will recieve a picture of dead animal and funeral

Email me with Pay Pal. Thank you for your compasion. Small and large donations are accepted.

UPDATE: Smitty the field mouse has completly decomposed thanks to you heartless basterds who wouldn't send me money!!...mmm for the shoe box to bury him in.

What is going on here!!

It allways amazes me what a small group of pussy complainers can accomplish.

This year ads are going to be somewhat tastefull during superbowl. The reason being???
Easily offended people!!!!!!

So there was a BOOB SHOT last year.....The people complaining about this are the ones that wanted to suck it but can't, people that thought it was Michael, and women with saggy tits.

People are getting Offended by Ads too. The only thing that offended me was I didn't think they were funny enough. Wax jobs, naked housewives................WHO CARES!!!

Well, apparently, these people do:

Goody Goody Christians who gave up bitching about BEER commercials.
Depressed Virgins
Ugly people
People that use to Worship Martha Stewart
Those that NEED attention cause they got the SDS (small dick Syndrom)
and people that are ALL THE ABOVE!!!

Ad's that ran last year:

Crotch biting Dog
The Farting Horse
Monkey who flirts with guy's date
Kilt wearing man
Ad with Desperate Housewife Naked




The ad's that will be running this year:

Muppet Babies
Count Chocula
Jolly Green Giant
M.C. Hammer
Mr. Clean
Pillsbury Dough Boy

Do you see whats wrong with this picture???

If a company is spending $2.4 Million for a 30 second spot, they should be able to put what they want if they thank it will help sales.